The Good For Nothing Script
The Good For Nothing was a film produced by Chaplin during his time with Keystone Studios in 1914. Like all the films of the day, there was no verbal audio present; however, the expressions and general idea of the words can still be made out. This script is an interpretation of Chaplin's work in the eyes of a viewer. For this script the first two scenes of his movie was used.
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Chaplin: (thinking) This newspaper is so darn boring. I wish I had a pretty girl or something to look at instead.
Chaplin: (thinking) Oh perfect! Here’s one on the cover. Maybe it’s not so bad after all.
Chaplin: (thinking) What a dilemma. Should I actually read this? The cover is much more interesting than the articles.
Man: This old geezer is ruining all my plans!
Man: He’s been sleeping for ages! Is that all he does?
Woman: (flirty voice) Oh all right, I’ll be waiting for you over here darling.
Chaplin: I’m sorry ma’am, you dropped your purse. (quietly to self) Hmm she has quite a nice arse there…
Uncle: Why the hell did you have to wake me up from my nap? I was having a wonderful dream running in a field of flowers…
Uncle: Stop pushing me damnit! First you wake me from my nap and now you’re pushing a poor cripple around.
Chaplin: Would you kindly shut up before I whack you with my cane?
Chaplin: (loudly) Owwww! That’s my foot! Get off get off get off!
Man: Why isn’t this stupid wheelchair moving…?!
Uncle: I’m really very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better my foot is crippled too!
Chaplin: Oh I’ll show you a crippled foot you crazy old man…
Man: I’m going to leave you with the nice gentleman for now…
Uncle: NO NO NO! Take me with you!
Woman: (shrieks) What was that?!
Man: Peek-a-boo!
Uncle: Stay away from me! I don’t want you getting any closer or I swear I’ll call the police!
Chaplin: Oof!
Uncle: Aww, I thought I was getting away from him, too!
Woman: You stupid man you got the wrong thing again!
Man: Why are you so clumsy?! And now you’re too good to pick it up? Women…
Uncle: I told you already I don’t want to be pushed around! Now leave me alone so I can get back to my dream!
Chaplin: (almost screaming) Oh come ON! AGAIN? My rump is going to be hurting by the end of this…
Uncle: Well if you’re going to push me at least do it right! Come on, get up and push!
Chaplin: (mutters) Screw you old man…
Chaplin: This infuriating sidewalk! Why can’t you be curvy like the last woman that was at my place so I can get on you?
Uncle: What’s wrong with you, you incompetent fool!
Chaplin: That’s it, I give up. You can move your wheelchair by yourself.
Chaplin: Success! Now stay here.
Uncle: You can’t leave me alone here! Look at this! My foot is broken!
Chaplin: Fine you know what, I’ll just sit here. Why am I doing this anyway…
Woman: Those two are so silly together! And it looks like uncle is having a good time.
Uncle: Here I can move the wheelchair myself better than you!
Chaplin: Old fool! Now you made me drop my hat!
Chaplin:(thinking)Hmm that’s weird, my rear still itches…
Uncle: Can’t I get any peace around here?
Chaplin: Hey maybe I should stop by there for a quick drink and maybe find a girl or two… (after some debate) Sorry, but we’re going to have to cut this walk short.
